THE PAST
“There are times in our lives when we have to realize that our past is precisely what it is and we cannot change it, but we can change the story we tell ourselves about it, and by doing that we can change the future.” Eleanor Brown
Do you have a moment you relive? Maybe it’s a moment you wish you could redo. You wish you had said that or done that. You wish you had been better. You acted in a manner that was not in line with who you believed yourself to be, and it rocked you. You wish you could change what happened. Rewrite the story.
In order to change the story we tell ourselves about these moments we must do two things.
1. Ask for the Holy Spirit’s help to see the story as it really was. Hindsight is always 20/20 - it’s a saying for a reason. Often times as we look at the past we are viewing it from the perspective of the person we have become. Except the person that lived that moment was not the person you are today. You have grown so much since then. You were doing the best you could as the person you were in that moment. You are constantly changing.
While you are a new creation the first time that you start to walk with Christ, it does not end there. God knows that we cannot take it if he changes us all at once, so he gently removes layer after layer of our old selves over time, making us into the person He created us to be. So as you ruminate on moments from your past you are literally looking at an old version of yourself. With the help of God’s Spirit living inside of us, we can learn to see how we’ve changed, and learn to give grace to the version of ourselves that existed in that moment. You can only move forward with His help.
2. You must forgive yourself for what you did not know. For managing in the only way you knew to at that moment in your life. You must let go because you are most likely the only person focused on what happened. What happened cannot be changed. Pray about whether you need to ask for forgiveness from the other parties. If the answer is yes, then take the step to seek forgiveness. If the answer is no, then put it into God’s hands and continue to ask Him to reveal His truth. Ask until you can truly forgive yourself, and let go because God loves you more than you can even fathom. He did not love you any less in that moment where you think you failed.
Maybe it’s the worst moment of your life that you keep reliving. The moment that changed everything. The moment you knew that you were… not enough, too much, not a good person or a good friend, not worth fighting for, forgettable…
In order to change the story we tell ourselves about these moments we must do two things.
1. Study God’s word so you can begin to write the truth in your mind, and your heart about who you really are, and ask the Holy Spirit to help you notice when you do not believe it - when you are triggered by moments from the past that do not align with what God says is true. One cannot be done without the other. You must study the truth, and put it into practice. Seek help from a professional if needed to help you dig deeper into all that happened.
2. Forgive these who hurt you. I know this is the worst part, but harboring anger against them is only hurting yourself. God promises to set you free, but only if you let Him.
Maybe it’s the best moment of your life you relive, and you replay it when things are not going so well. Maybe you replay that moment thinking your best days are behind you.
Unlike our other examples there is no need to change the story of the past for these moments. There is instead a need to change our thoughts about today.
While our lives are built of moments, we can really only live one moment at a time, only experience things once. Each moment will never present itself again. You either live it or you lose it.
So every moment spent in the past is a missed moment in the day you are actually living. A lost moment in the only day that matters. If you stack enough lost moments on top of each other the story becomes stagnant. The story doesn’t change - YOU never change.
If we only get so many years here, why waste them looking backwards? A lot of times we are stuck reliving what was because we are struggling to find vision for where we are.
In order to change the story we tell ourselves about these moments we must do two things.
1. Give thanks. Practice gratitude for the season you’re in. The simple act of looking for things to be grateful for will tune your heart in to the days you’re living, making you more present to what each day holds.
2. Ask for vision. I’ve seen stories of people loosing loved ones too early, a woman who lost her husband to Covid or the story of a woman who lost her husband in a car accident, and yet I have been in three car accidents in the last five years. Each one pretty traumatic. Each one could have ended my life, but they didn’t. God holds our days in His hands. He determines if we come home to Him at 12, 35 or 99. If you are still here He has more days for you to live. Pray for vision for how He wants you to live those days. If we ask in accordance with His will He promises to answer.
I know it can be tempting to let yourself live in the past - good and bad, but we were made to trust the Lord. To walk in step with Him all the days of our lives. Continuously compared to sheep who know nothing more than to trust their Shepard. What steps will you take to allow the Lord to lead you in this day?
XOXO, Kylie